Squirrels and the Evil They Do

Yes...I hate squirrels. They are evil incarnate. They randomly dig up gardens because they "feel" like it. They gnaw on pumpkins and squashes,  haphazardly destroying months of work for a few seeds. They bite tomato after tomato in search of that "just right" flavor and then they organize rodential fireman's brigades to carry the entire crop out of the garden. They laugh at me when I install motion detector activated water sprinklers. My slingshot reduces them to hysterics. True, I was using acorns as ammo, which was a somewhat ironic twist which they fully appreciated. Although merely rodents, they have caused this primate to totally revise planting patterns. No more squash and reduced tomatoes. Instead the following are favored in the garden: eggplants, peppers, carrots, lettuce, onions, broccoli, potatoes, herbs. All of these can handle the squirrel onslaught in this region. But no more will we grow monster squash vines that produce buds that get snipped off like clockwork. Those days of feeding the local squirrel brady bunch are over. Here is a partial list of other actions taken to deter the invaders:

1. Chicken wire installed at the base of fencing - ineffective, though perhaps creating inconvenient moments for them as I chase them screaming like a banshee and wielding various weapons.
2. Fox Urine - ineffective and once I left it out and they stole the lid to mock me, perhaps it provided a savory accompaniment to my green tomatoes.
3. CD's on strings twisting in the wind - the dancing reflected sunlight provided amusement to both me and the squirrels.
4. Giant Tripod built of former christmas trees with maniacally spinning wire arms at the apex- The neighbors began to notice me. The squirrels did not. However it did have a sort of Blair Witch-ian charm that I often reminisce about.
5. The ScareCrow by Contech - I had high hopes for this device. After all, if it can handle bear, why not squirrel? This one actually worked a bit and was also amusing to me. It definitely reduced incursions and helped seedlings sprout and survive. However, as the summer wore on, I noticed that the squirrels were purposely triggering it at the hottest time of the day, just to see the way the hose heated and piping hot water would wilt the leaves in the middle of the day. So...a good solution for early on, but not later. 

Next steps?

Is there any hope? Someone recently mentioned trying other kinds of urine - can't recall - coyote maybe. Or Mountain lion...that sounds promising, though perhaps difficult to acquire without injury.

I also found this recipe for anti-squirrel pepper spray which I might try despite all the bad press pepper spray has gotten lately. 

Other things to consider:

in My Empire of Dirt , Manny Howard details how he trapped squirrels in his backyard farm and was then uncomfortable with the next step and so left them to sit for a week or two. The screams and shrieks of the trapped animals proved a sufficient deterrent. Eventually he drowned them in a garbage can. Witnessing this probably helped watching squirrels make up their minds. Manny was seldom bothered going forward. Not sure I could do this one.

The husband of a friend has shot and skinned a couple squirrels. I think this was moderately successful, but I am pretty sure that would get me arrested in the highly dense area in which I live. Nevertheless, a boy can dream.